"That’s a bunch of crap, dad."
"I kid you not junior; Your mom took down an ogre with nothing but her bare hands!"
"That’s right. Might wanna take a moment to consider your options the next time you decide that egging Mrs. Hendyr’s house is a good idea."
"When was mom getting home again-"
"VARRIC. WHERE IS OUR SON!?"
….sobs quietly in my happy AU corner….